You'Re NoT a RoBoT oR a MaN! 9/26/06.

Anyway, today is an ok day. Tomorrow I got court and gotsta get up at 7. And right now what time is it (almost 11:30)? So I know I am just fucking myself over, of course, I did when I got pulled over and caught with ninja stars. Oh well fuck em all.

I realized today that the worst four letter word in the alphabet isn't really a bad word at all. In fact everyone says it and everyone allows it. I have refused to say it from now on until I realized who the fuck I am. I'm a man out of sync with his own program. Trying to find some kind of inner link. So what do you want from me? You see this time I cannot love another cunt, you drink as slow, look twice and you'll get fucked. So today is a day of infamy for me to learn that the world is a very cold and harsh place. And to find another kind of pain, I'm so blind. I've lost my way it seems, but (as always) I have those that pull me back and they don't even know they do (Hell they don't care).

Just fucking do it damn it! That is what I tell myself everyday, and I'm a cowardly man afraid to be myself. Tell me I'm a pussy and you're hotter than me. Given something to say, I'm superfly and I'll never fake. Sooner or later I'll like to erase them all and reclaim my place. But in the end does it really matter? You and me, we have no faces. Soon our lives will be erased, do you think they will remember? Or will we just be replaced?

SN00X! 9/22/06.

I have to admit I do like those little double cheeseburgers. Fucking cheap and you can order the bigger patties on them too. So fuck you McDonalds (fuck you most Darrin)!

Anyway. I have this fucking split on my knuckle, and on the 19^th while being arrested I tried cauterizing it with my cigar. Apparently it doesn't work as well as movies suggest. Though it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

YaY!

It still hasn't closed (or stopped oozing).

PaY THe PRieSTeRS iN JuDGiNG WiTH THeiR BeaT STiCK. 9/21/06.

FUCK YOU PIGZ!

Nothing would give me more pleasure than (In words of ICE-T) taking every pig out and shooting them in the motherfucking head. Yeah thats right I got arrested late on the 19^th. And apparently it is illegal to have license plates in the front window (they have to be visible from the street). And did you find anything Officer Connelly? No! Thats right it was tobacco you fucking moron. So fuck you and I hope some fucking teenager blows a hole in your motherfucking head after asking you some question that doesn't make sense. I would laugh so hard because you were a dick and what comes around, goes around (I'm still waiting).


In any case with your attitude I wouldn't put it past you not living for three more years. That and some old ass bitch at the holding area has a problem with people being comfortable and not watching TV like a fucking vegetable (You know who you are). And Destiny if you read this, did you have fun? Just relax, is all kewl.

Too those who (truly) know me, don't let them throw me away when it comes to that. I would like to be remember semi-infamously and don't let them make a Lifetime movie about me. Angel ain't got nothing on me so girl you just fukt with whatever you think you got. Sorry. Anyway ask for me I don't care. I honestly believe you are that naive, to think about this (Course it does seem totally like me). And whatever you are getting at is probably not out of reach, so don't play these fucking games like a nine year old girl. So I probably hit you on your "threats". You're not the one I would need to fear.

iF i PRoMiSe NoT To KiLL You, CaN i HaVe a HuG? 09/19/06.

Secular wonderings (or just random word meshings) are basically what I survive on. Trying to makes sense of the world. I like things in neat little packages that apply to the whole world. I don't like the fact that the chaos in man may (at times) put him at the throat of his best friend over something as insignificant as a song/ some food/ a women. But hell it happens to the best of us. Hypocrites/I'm gonna do this blind. Hypocrites/Your messiah was never mine. But forget about song lyrics for a moment and you can eat the thin mints at my funeral. See the world isn't fukt up, you're fukt up. And you're not FuKT! up but just confused. See that is how the world works (in mysterious and sometimes retarded ways).

They say he who gives everything he has, no matter how little, gives more than the richest gifts of a millionaire who gives a mere tithing. They also say something about sexism, but we all know equality is achieved in religion by claiming "symbolism".

But that is just me. See I likes me a woman with pale skin and the look like she might die soon. Course that doesn't me I don't like woman's with meat and a (REAL!!!) tan.
So let the music play, and forget about today and just hope for tomorrow (today). Look to the sky just before you die. It's the last time you will. (Well fuck yeah, you're gonna die!).

THe WoRLD aiN'T FaiR. 9/17/06.

It pisse's me off when you pay for a service (like DSL) and they are like 'Oh sorry we fucked up and now you receive a credit.' Shouldn't happen in the first place but it does. So working for a corporation (QWeRST) and that happens I'm on the other line and I'm telling them they will receive the credit. And they bitch that it shouldn't happen in the first place. And I'm like yeah, whatever douche bag.

I also love getting free shit. But sometimes I feel like a (HoMo)Hobo. Ne-way if people give me free shit I ain't gonna complain, but they better not ask for them back. Once given I is mine (MWaHaHaHa) and too bad.

Oh NO *High-Pitched Voice*.

HaPPy FuCKiNG BiRTHDaY! 9/06/2006.

Whooo! This is actually a day late because I went to jail for a three day stint and had no access to a comp. (Or deodorant!)

NSFW (NeVeR SaFe FoR WoRK). 9/03/2006.

As you should all know by now that this site is never a safe place to visit in front of co-workers/ acqaintances. (Basically anybody that doesn't know you well enough to understand the inner machinations of your mind). My point is this should never be viewed while at work with either female or homosexual workers. Period. End of story.

What happens when your foundation of your life crumbles? I don't know because they don't teach it in school. And honestly right now, (Aside from quoting movies) I have this wave of melancholy sweeping through me and I feel as though I will always be a loser, working in a dead-end job, scraping money to spend. Always.

Anyway onto happier news, the title link is a good one! (Not lying this time, promise).


Sometimes the wave of melancholy is so heavy and depressing that the thoughts (You know the ones) come and I wonder why I even breathe? I look at my little daughter when she smiles at me and bounces up and down talking in her own language. And then all my sorrow is lifted and I realize that my own thoughts and feelings a petty and insignificant. What matters is how much she and I mean to each other. And how I will have two more in December, and how they at least need to know me somewhat.