PLaCe YeR BeT, DoN'T BeaT Yo' MeaT. 7/06/06.

So I'm sitting at my desk wondering about my posts, how can I get it so raunchy, (raunchily-pornographic (and disgusting)).

So my day begins with me getting up and pissing into a skull, with my wife looking at me and saying "Are you pissing into your hand?" and I realize that I don't have a skull to piss in. (nag nag nag). So after I wash my hand, I go for a banana and peel it. Only it seems to have many layers of peel, and everyone who saw me peeling the banana sez "That's a huge lowd." Like I know. So I move onto the bath I was taking and apparently the dogs like licking my "banana". My meal before I actually started my day was a salad, and all it seems that was in there was lettuce. When my mom got home she complained about what happened to the tree. (nag nag nag). I went to work and everyone complimented me on my beautiful smell, and they gave me a cute pink slip saying that I smelled too good to work at that shit-hole. On my way home I met a dyslexic cop who thought a speed sign was 35 m.p.h. when it clearly stated 53. God what a dumbass. So I have a court date on the 5^th day of the 29^th month so that is what, that's December 5^th of 2008.


Freakin' Sweet *Peter Griffin voice*.

So my wife is beating the mailman because he's trying to steal something. (I forget). And she says that I am so smart that she is leaving because she says she's too stupid to live with me and ruin my great I.Q. it's around 10 (I think) which is the best.

Right?